Well, my last week as come and gone and it was very sad. I had gotten very attached to a couple of the children and it was very hard to say goodbye to them. Especially Nicu, who was my favorite.
On my last day, I brought in champagne for the caregivers. I also had Vica help me write a card to them, thanking them for everything. She had also helped me write letters to all of the children telling them how much I love them and how important they are. I wrote the letters in Romanian and then wrote a little note in English telling each one something special about his/herself. I gave the letters to the caregivers and asked them to put them somewhere safe so that someday the children can read them. I don't know if that will every happen. Maybe the caregivers will just throw them away, or they will get lost, but at least there is a chance of the children knowing what they meant to me.
The caregivers were very sweet to me all day and I took a picture with them. Early in the morning on my last day, the caregivers dressed Nicu and took him out of the room. They've been doing that every day because he has been a little sick, and I think they were just taking him to another room to see a doctor. However, when I came back from lunch, he still hadn't returned. I asked Pasha, the nurse, where he was and she said he was in isolation. At first, I thought that meant he was at a different hospital and I asked what hospital he was at. She said he was here and I asked if I could visit him. She wasn't sure but the other caregivers said it would be alright. At four, I asked Pasha if we could go see Nicu and she led me down the long halls to a room marked Izolator. Inside, she told a nurse what we were doing and we waited. We waited inside a doorway and Pasha could see to the right but I couldn't. I wasn't sure what was going to happen, but then Pasha gestured for me to come in and I could see Nicu being held by a nurse. He was very calm and wasn't doing much. But the minute he saw me he started jumping up and down and flapping his arms. We all laughed. He kept trying to get away from the nurse and come to me, but they wouldn't let me near him. I just waved and talked to him. It was really hard. I really wanted to hold him and kiss him. It was very emotional and I swallowed back tears. I really want to go see him on Monday before I leave for the airport but I know that it will be to painful for me. It would just reopen the wound but I already miss him so much. I wish I was in a better situation so that I could take him home with me. He is absolutely beautiful. I think it was love at first sight, but I tried so hard to be impartial and love all the children the same. I tried not to treat him special but he kept coming to me. I am so grateful for having gotten to spend time with him but it hurts so much saying goodbye.
I am so incredibly grateful to have been able to have this experience and I am indebted to all of you who helped me. It truly was a life changing experience and I only hope I can work hard enough to deserve the love and joy I received from the children. I found out that I got into the Masters of Social Work program at FSU and will start this fall. I hope to continue my work with orphanages and international adoption. I'm hoping I'll be able to set something up with my grad school, where I can come back to Moldova to work with the children again as some sort of internship or practicum. If I could spend the rest of my life at the orphanage I would.
